i felt the same way as when i got my O level results.
my results are not that bad.
but when i compare it with everyone else, i feel so inferior, so lost.
just want to be a recluse now.
need an older person to confide in.
like what kg said just now, i need a mentor.
let's just say my overall points are between 55 to 60, upon 68. and i am alright with my GP.

leaving the school was like an ending point in this phase of life. a finality of sorts.
so many people that i'll be seeing for the last time.
i see it all ending but i cannot prevent it from happening.
yearn so much to be back where i was. to relive history.
though i knw that these things are really impossible.
it is as if i am lost at some transition point, unable to get back to where i came from. neither am i able to move on.
on the imaginary line at a crossover.

maybe all along i was striving to be someone that i never was. or rather someone that i could never become.
maybe im just not that academically inclined.
there are so many paths for me to take, yet i remain undecided.

thankful to my CT for her encouraging words just now.
but she still has the opinion that i was a slacker for 1.5years.
i feel so indignant. damn. but i dun have the results to prove it.

really happy for those who did well.
in fact, 90% of those i know had extremely good grades.
why am i not one of them?

i made a promise that if i had 3As i would never...
now that i dun get 3As, does it mean that i...
or am i just holding on to a flame that has died long ago?

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